I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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