So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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