operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Randomize
