I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
