i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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