I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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