how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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