Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
