he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
