RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
A bitchslap is in order.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
