I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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