I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
