Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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