I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
