Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You may now shotgun with the bride
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
