how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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