went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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