I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
