Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
