I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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