garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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