you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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