I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
