I cannot find my penis.
Say something about gay babies.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
