You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize