Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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