Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
