we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
