I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
