i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
