just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
this is an emotional support booty call
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
