Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
