That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
