She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
