who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
