Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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