went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
