I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
