it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
dude i'm inner monologue high
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
