I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
