Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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