yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
