Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
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