btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
