Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
