wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
handjob tips. give me some.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
