He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
