girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
