yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
