he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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