i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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