When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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