The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
