I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize