I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
