i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
