Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize