I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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