I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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