Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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