I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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