i don't plan on having that self control this summer
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
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