I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
