u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize