I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
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